A good friend can guide us out of difficulties, and a bad friend can lead us into undesirable
situations. Friendship is not to be taken lightly. It is the only relationship in which two
individuals are equal.
A father always remains a father, and there can be no switching of roles between father and child. A man, however wise, still treats his father with respect. A son would hesitate to offer his father advice, or even to point out his mistakes to him. It is not a relationship marked by equality.But between friends, there is no such barrier. They can advise and criticise each other freely.
That is why our marriage mantras refer to a husband and a wife as friends to show that in
this relationship, no one is superior to the other, Goda Venkateswara Sastrigal said. Each is supportive of the other and has no hesitation in offering advice. In the Ramayana, Rama and
Sita visit the hermitages of many sages.
The sages request Rama to slay the demons, who have been disturbing them. Rama agrees.
Sita asks Him how He could have agreed to help the sages without hearing the point of
view of the demons. Wasn’t it wrong to make a decision on the basis of the complaints of one
side, without giving the other an opportunity to explain, She asks.
If the relationship between the two had not been one of equality, could Sita have questioned Her husband? And if the relationship had not been one of equality, would Rama have allowed Her to speak Her mind? The sages are doing penance for the welfare of the world, not for any personal benefit. As such, there is no reason for them to lie. The demons who are disturbing them, therefore, need to be punished. Thus, the
Divine Couple demonstrate that between husband and wife, equality is the norm.
A true friend, who never hesitates to criticise his friend, will never do so publicly. Any rebuke
will be in private. But he will sing his friend’s praises in public. If his friend has a few good qualities, he will magnify them a hundredfold in public. So should the relationship between
husband and wife be, and that is what our scriptures show us.
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